It's Too Scary for Drugs

In order to understand me, and this Tear, you have to know that I am a child of the sixties (and early seventies). Drug experimentation was a rite of passage, much to our detriment AND benefit. I have decided to no longer get high. I have come to the realization that the world is just too scary for me to enjoy life if I’m high.
Please remember that we Hippies were tripping on L.S.D. in a world with Johnson, Nixon and Agnew, but today’s world is too scary for me. With the crop of losers we have running the world today, folks long for the days when we had Johnson, Nixon and Agnew. We diced with nuclear catastrophe, but today’s ridiculously risky world is just too scary for me. When I am stupid enough to waste my drug money watching the news while I am high, the downer is just too strong for me. There is no drug yet discovered or invented which can provide an effective escape from the living hell in which we are all immersed.
The earth is on the brink of total destruction from an environmental Armageddon which will leave us all in a shrieking misery. Any psychotic madman can wipe out life on our planet, any time he wishes, just by opening up a canister of lethal chemicals. Our leaders fritter away our time and our lives in a drunken stupor while they are acclaimed on TV as heroic public servants. Our culture is so debased that we can no longer satirize it anymore because these representations just aren’t funny, only tragic. Every tasteless satirization made during the hallucinogenic sixties has been surpassed by real life. I laugh at real culture the way I used to laugh at “Kentucky Fried Movie”. Our presidents, justices, senators, congressmen and other public figures have actually become the caricatures I imagined while I was tripping. No wonder I’m too scared to get high. At least in the sixties, we trippers carried around a healthy dose of thorizine, in case the trip was too much for us. Nowadays, a person could wind up on thorizine, permanently, just from absorbing everything around him.
This revolting development could spell the victory in the war on drugs; just create a world where life is too damn scary to enjoy being high. Think of this: spontaneously, without any further action, people everywhere in our great nation will quit altering their consciousness because it just isn’t fun anymore. Why? Because when you come down, you’re in the same crummy world as when you took off. Drug dealers and producers will all go broke. Dope fields will lie fallow and their crops will go unharvested. I can see it all now; televised Congressional hearings where we will see the “CEO’S” of the major drug cartels demanding a government bail out. They will tell us that our nation is in danger of losing the arts of methamphetamine, cocaine and hallucinogen manufacturing. The agrarian art of marijuana farming will go the way of buggy whip production. The taxpayer needs to help these endangered industries, before it’s too late.
There I go again, scaring myself. The government would never, in a million years, bail out failing private industries to protect them from the excesses of their own failures. I must be tripping. Such a thing could never happen. That’s why I have decided that I will no longer get high anymore. Things have just gotten too scary for me. I’ve thrown away my hashhpipe and my rolling papers, and I have flushed my stash. God Bless America! PLEASE.